poetry by sofia

My little Sofi loves to write. Tonight, after I had tucked her in bed, she somehow found a pencil and paper on her bed and wrote a new poem. I'm going to have to check under her pillow from now on. She should probably be trying to sleep instead of writing, but what do you do? Here is the latest.

Isabel is sweet.
Isabel is pretty.
Isabel is lovely.
Isabel is cool.
Isabel is funny.
Isabel is my little sister!

Jacob is cool.
Jacob is funny.
Jacob is nice.
Jacob is awsome!
Jacob is sencitive.
Jacob is my elder brother!

I love you two!!

P.S. Espeshaly Becky and David!


Wow! It's fun to read her writing. Especially today when earlier this morning she had a tough time with her brother and sister. They seem to be always loving each other or fighting mad with each other. I suppose this is totally normal with brothers and sisters this age. I didn't edit her work, thought it needed to be kept real. She didn't do that bad of a job.

I'm off to grade the pile of papers that I was supposed to grade sometime this weekend. I can never seem to get it done until too late on Sunday night. Call me the QUEEN of procrastinators. Someday...that is my favorite word lately, someday I hope to figure out that getting things done on time and with time to spare would help me greatly! But it just wasn't meant to be this weekend.

More later...

afternoon walks

Almost every afternoon the kids and I go on a walk. I love walking, always have and want my kids to enjoy walking also. It is a work in progress! Our school has a program called the 25 mile club, which encourages the students to get out and start walking. It's a great incentive for my kids. We have already walked three sessions of the 25 mile club and are now 75 milers. They get a kick out of hearing how far they have walked since Aug. The kids get a t-shirt and a certificate. I do miss walking on the trails behind my parents home in Pinetop. There's something about walking under the tall pines! My neighborhood in Mesa just isn't the same, but it's good to get the kids outside and moving. We usually walk for about 30-40 minutes. I do have to say that when we started walking in August I had three crying, upset kids. They very strongly disliked going on our walks. I think they have realized they have no choice and its become a nice routine which I think they actually enjoy. Jacob and Sofia both received roller blades for birthdays or Christmas, so that has helped. Isabel has a friend who likes to come with us so that helps her walk happily! I took my camera along on our last walk. It was a nice afternoon.

The kids all know that when they reach a corner, before they cross the street they have to wait for me. Sometimes I will find them all sitting down waiting. Quite the group!

The kids wear uniforms at school. As soon as they get home, Isabel and Sofia usually change
right away. Isabel usually puts on a dress. That would be why you see her wearing a pretty
'church' dress. She is lucky to have such a great friend live right across the street. They spend quite a lot of time playing after school and on saturdays. Usually going from one house to the other, back and forth.

Jacob David

I have written blogs about my two girls and how they came to be. Now it is Jacob's turn.

He turned 9 years old this year. I still can't believe how the time has gone. I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant with Jacob. I had always wanted to be a mom. I had been married for a month when I learned that I was pregnant. In July I had started bleeding and went to the hospital. I was 12 weeks along and the doctor told me that I hadn't miscarried yet, but there was a 50 percent chance that I would. I was so scared. Luckily I didn't miscarry and after taking it easy for a week after, I was back to normal. Jacob was born at 9:58 am on January 10, 2000. I don't have a scanner so I can't scan any of his baby pictures, but he was born with dark brown hair and beautiful dark brown eyes. He weighed 7 lbs. 5 ozs. He was perfect. I went into labor around 2 am that morning. We didn't have health insurance at the time. I basically had a pre-paid plan at Mesa General's Women's Clinic. They were great. I didn't want to pay $700 for an epidural and knew that my mom had had 4 children naturally and thought I could do it also. I never even thought twice about it. IT HURT...Unbearable!!! David and his mom were there. I just remember mama F. rubbing my feet, they were so cold. Luckily it was not a long labor, just about 8 hours. Jacob came out screaming and hollering! I was thrilled. He was beautiful. He nursed well for about 7 and a half months. He was a chubby baby, always smiling and laughing. He didn't sleep through the night until he was 17 months old and I was 6 months pregnant with Sofia. Every night would wake up crying and wouldn't stop crying until he threw up or I got him out of bed. That was joyous ;).

He loves:

pizza

hot dogs

strawberries

getting dirty

playing in mud

roller blading

playing games

candy

reading

boy scouts

drawing

cars

He is such a good boy. He tries hard to make good choices. He is also a good brother to his little sisters. He is all boy...full of life and I love him!

it's officially final

As of February 12, 2009 I am no longer married. Half of me is thinking that all of this mess is finally offically over and I don't have to do anymore work (and it was work) to get this divorce final. But another part of me is just sad. It has been almost a year that I learned my husband had kind of lost his marbles...that's the kind way to say it. So much has happened and I look at where I am today and am stunned at all that has changed. More stunned that I am still standing and breathing! I went from being a wife, stay at home mom who babysat and was able to take care of my home, take kids to and from school, to a full time working, responsible for everything, rent paying, single woman. It's all ridiculous and sooooooo not necessary, but I've learned that I am in control of no one but myself and I can't make decisions for anyone else...(except for my kids of course). It all stinks. That is all I can say. David came to me about the end of February last year and told me that he wanted to be with someone else. I no longer was the one he wanted to be married to. He let his eye wander, liked what he saw and was no longer content with me. I had gained a little too much weight and wasn't 20 anymore. I cried, begged, pleaded, talked and talked and talked trying to get him to see that he was making a huge mistake. I was willing to do anything to make it work or fix it. We saw our bishop a few times and it seemed that he was willing to try to make things work. But he always changed his mind again. His family ALL thought he was crazy, his friends thought he was crazy, everyone in our ward tried talking sense into him, but it didn't matter. We didn't have a perfect marriage, but I don't think that anyone does. We didn't fight a lot, we spent time together, we always worked things out when we disagreed. I will be the first to say that it wasn't perfect, but I do believe that you keep working at it. Nine years is a long time together....a lot of history. Not to mention three beautiful children. I was devastated. Spent most of April crying. I was also totally scared out of my mind. I don't want to live alone. I had no clue how to go forward and make decisions for my children and I about where to live, how to get a job. I was a pretty big mess. David told me that he still loved me, that we would always be friends, that he would still help me, but that he just needed something different. WONDERFUL! (sarcasm) Then the miracles started occuring in my life. I had a wonderful visiting teacher who was a good friend. She saved me. I was planning on subsituting the next year while I worked on getting my certificate renewed. Her husband works at Burke Basic School. She came to me one day and said that they were hiring there and that I needed to send my resume. My 10 year old resume? I looked through all my files and finally found it. She took it to her home and updated it for me. We then called the school. I was terrified! To make a long story a little shorter, I was hired 1 week later. They had finished interviewing, but made a concession for me, because of my friend. Still totally terrified, I now had a job. I hadn't taught in 10 years! But I had a job. My good friend also helped me find the house I live in today. I couldn't afford the house we were living in...didn't want to, so I moved out. She scoured the neighborhood looking for houses to rent. I was so sad for my kids. I had a hard time imagining where we might end up living. Another long story a little shorter, we found a 3 bedroom house a half mile from our other house. Huge backyard and nice neighborhood. I was so relieved. We moved out the second week of June. The kids took the news pretty well. They were more concerned if they would have their own rooms and a pool at their new house. Moving out was one of the hardest things. I still couldn't believe it was happening. Mom and dad came down to help and loads of friends from the ward came to help. It's been so tough and I still have a hard time telling people that I am divorced. It is a horrible word. I want to scream from the rooftops that it wasn't my choice, I was given no choice and that I am not a bad person. The kids are able to go see their dad whenever they want. He has been good about helping whenever I need it...and I have been pretty demanding about him helping. So we have all survived. I am getting more used to working and taking care of a home, not good at it yet, but working on it. The kids are doing well in school. They are able to go to school with me in the morning and we all come home together after. The school has an after care program that the kids go to. We usually are home between 3:30 and 4:00. I have the best family who have been there for me and helped me and are still helping me. I also have a few good friends that are there for me and make sure that I am okay. I also have seen so many blessings from my Heavenly Father. It is amazing to me how much he knows me and cares about me! So there is my sad story. I didn't intend for it to be this long. There is so much more to say, but I am done...for now! My kids are healthy and happy and that is all that matters!

self-portraits

Every time I scan through the photos on my camera I find pictures like this one of Sofia! She is always finding my camera and taking her picture. I've found some interesting pictures of her. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her not to play with my camera (my kids are notorious for breaking things) she keeps doing it. I've had quite a few laughs over some of the shots my kids take.

Sofia was born on September 14, 2001. Five days before my 26th birthday. I woke up around 4:30 am with contractions. David's sister Zilveth came over around 7:30 am to take Jacob to work with her (she worked at a day care at the time) and my sister Gaby came over to go take me to the hospital. I think David, who was landscaping at the time had to finish up a job that morning and thought he had enough time to get some work done before I would need him at the hospital. He came to the hospital for a little bit, but then left around 11:00 to return some machinary that was due back. He missed her birth by about 20 minutes. I was not very happy about that, but what to do? I was soo glad Gaby was there with me. I had planned to have Sofia naturally and was nervous remembering the pain from Jacob's birth. She was born at 12:30 pm on the 14th, a nice (ha ha) 8 hour labor. Poor Gaby, I think I scared her a little with my moaning, screaming and hand squeezing, but she was a trooper and I couldn't have done it without her there. I was so excited to be having a girl. She joined the long line of family members who are born between August 29 and October 3. Jacob was 18 months old when she was born. One of my fondest memory of the two of them at that age is when I walked into the room and noticed something on Sofia's face. I realized it was pen. Jacob had a pen hidden behind his back. He had written on his 3 month old sisters face with pen! She didn't seem to mind. She was a fun baby. I nursed her until she was 1 year old. I tried to get her to take a bottle, but she would never take one. I didn't mind, nursing was such a pleasure and great bonding time for me and my babies. As soon as she could sit up and play, she and Jacob have been the greatest buddies. They have always played well together. I don't have a scanner, so I am unable to scan baby pictures. Someday...

Here she is in Pinetop at grandma and grandpas house on grandpas rowing machine.

Sofia loves:

spaghetti

oranges

roller blading

writing stories

singing

roast beef and mashed potatoes

chocolate ice cream

dancing

Arby's

visiting grandma and grandpa Wessel

saving and counting money

Sofia is a great sister and is always finding ways to share things so that everyone is happy. She is the first one to jump out of bed in the morning and my pickiest eater. Her teacher Mr. K has told me that she has the perfect student thing down...we'll see how long that lasts! I love Sofia!

YUM!

Hooray! for scouts...

Jacob earned his wolf badge! He was presented with his wolf patch at our pack meeting at the end of January! Congratulations J! He enjoys scouts VERY much! This whole scouting adventure has been interesting for me since I don't have brothers, so I didn't have any knowledge of scouts. He's worked hard all year long and has had some great leaders to help him. Now he is a bear and will work on earning that patch this next year. He is such a good boy!

Sorry about this picture, just pretend that it is upright...I seem to have a love/hate relationship with the computer and we are not friends tonight! Here he is with his newest patch (the orange one on his pocket).Here I am, pinning on his wolf patch, with Sofia and Isabel making sure I do it right!
Here are the boys, waiting for the 'potion' to be mixed from which will come their wolf patches...such excitement!

It was a fun night...cookies for refreshments! Way to go Jacob!

This last week was just a rotten week! I don't know why, but it was super tough. My kids were extra, unusually stinky, I was extra grumpy/tired and there were a few days where I felt it would be better if we all stayed in bed, didn't go to school and took a few 'sick' days. We didn't, we survived and I'm sure next week will be better...it has to be! I was looking through some of my pictures and this one just cheered me up! Isn't she a doll? I think so. Since I am using this blog as a sort of scrapbook/journal, I thought I would write a little about my children. Today I will start with Isabel. Isabel Fernandez was born on October 14, 2003 at 4:14 am. She was ready to be born because there was no time wasted! I felt my first contraction at 2:30 am, we arrived at the hospital at 3:30 am and she was born 44 minutes later. It was all just a little tooooo fast for me. I didn't have epidurals with my first 2 labors and was planning on having one with this third one...but it was not to be. They couldn't even get me hooked up to an iv! my doctor was on the freeway heading in, didn't make it in time, so the on-call doctor had the privilege! We didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl. I had one of each already, was prepared for either and wanted to be surprised. I was feeling the urge to push and was being told by everyone around me to wait because they were still getting everything prepared. NO WAY, couldn't do it! Just two pushes and she basically flew out of me...OUCH! I think I was in somewhat of a shocked state because I didn't pay attention to much else for a few minutes, I was slightly dazed! When they told me she was a girl I was super excited. She was perfect. 8 lbs. 14 ozs. Can't remember how long and I don't want to go find it. She was a very good, happy baby. I never gave her a bottle, which I am very proud of! We nursed until she was 15 months old. I think it was harder for me to wean than her! Here are some fun things about Isabel:

She loves: spaghetti
hot cheetos
fruit
pizza
playing dress up, babies and barbies
digging in dirt
anything sweet
doing puzzles
reading
playing with her big brother and big sister
taking walks
singing
swimming

My two other kids call Isabel my only 'Mexican' child because she takes after her dad and eats hot sauce on her chips, spicy food and loves the chile flavored mexican candy. I call her my firecracker or pistol because she is so full of energy that she often explodes, sometimes in a good way, and sometimes not! She also lets you know, usually very loudly, when she doesn't have what she wants or thinks she needs. I love her tons and tons and am so glad we get to 'grow up' together!

Here she is with her Abuelita Tere. We were at our school Christmas concert.

Look for Sofia and Jacob's turn coming soon!